Yellow Dog/Bleeding Heart

1. He gets just how cool robots really are 2. He can be Ward Cleaver when he has to 3. He answered some of the "hard" questions during LD's preteen years 4. He still rocks the bass 5. He still remembers the sharkskin suit we bought at a thrift store in 1983 6. He stood in the front yard in the rain with me the night my cat got out and let to me cry it all out - even though he doesn't even really like cats 7. Even though the kids went through a phase of standing outside the bathroom door to harass him every time he went to do his business he never killed either one of them 8. He really does love being a dad 9. The kids and I can still easily embarrass him 10. Even though the bitch neighbor complained every single day he refused to quit parking in front of her house solely because that's where the shade was. And when she cut her tree down just to spite him he didn't flaunt his victory. 11. He always has exactly what is needed no matter how obscure...

A friend of mine sent me this video and I had a lot of fun watching it and laughing at how many times I thought to myself, "I have one of those too!"   I so want to be in that room and play with those toys! Watching this video also made me really nostalgic for LD's childhood. My baby boy is pretty much all grown up now and will be going away to college in less than a year. It really really doesn't seem that long ago that our house was cluttered with Lego creations and action figures, and the back yard looked like a Little Tykes delivery truck had exploded over it. Of course there are still robots, dinosaurs, planetarium lights, wind up toys and crazy kitschy things in my house today. That's just a part of who I am. But when LD was a little boy I wanted his room to be his own magical place - with clouds in the sky, airplanes flying overhead, faux fireplaces and pretend picture frames, chalkboard walls to draw on, and assorted other whimsical t...

It's finally finished (we won't talk about closet doors) and we're all moved in! It was great to be able to be involved in a little bit of design in addition to decorating. I wish I had taken "before" pictures because the transformation was astounding. It went from a place I once walked away from in disgust to a beautiful space we're happy to call home. Before this it had ugly old carpet, beige walls and pink-ish (yes, pink ) trim. The over sized crown was a must for me, as it created a perfect finish. The light wood floors were chosen to balance the deeper cherry wood of the bookcases. Budget dictated the plantation blinds instead of shutters, but the upstairs carpet made of recycled plastics was a surprise bonus! I engaged in a stand off with Marty, the Martha Stewart of contractors, about the dining room but won the battle of the solid chocolate walls - though I'm not entirely sure he didn't lower the chair rail I requested as a payback for that ...

No pictures of the new place yet, but here's the move from the robots' perspective.

Furry has mastered language and is talking non-stop these days. That's pretty normal for a three year old, but what is unique about him is his "Bringlish" accent. See, his mom was born and raised right here in the heartland of America. As such, she speaks with a sort of familiar southern twang. His dad, on the other hand, was born and raised across the pond in England and speaks with a delicious English accent. Therefore, Furry's dialect is a mix of colloquial English and British slang. The other day he told Bojo that what she was saying was "rubbish" and he was quite adamant about it. He also loves the big green "oh-guh" called Shrek and recently told me he was "gonna git a 'ti-guh'" It's a lot like living with new-Madonna - after she decided she was British and adopted the accent. Or maybe Brittney: post breakdown. You know, kind of like he's faking the whole British personae. What he is not faking is his pickiness when ...

First we cleaned out the attic! Then we chopped down all the trees in the world! Okay, so really we had a major freeze disaster that ruined most of the trees in the city and left us without power for a week! But the power came back on and we had The Most Patient cat in the World help us to get in the spirit. Then, just to make it even more festive it snowed!!! After that we were far too caught up in the excitement to take any pictures, so I will leave you with one final picture of Bojo, Little Dog and Furry dreaming of sugarplums....

Last weekend there was a horrible gi - normous bug in my entryway. Ordinarily I can deal with the average bug, but this one was BIG. And creepy . Little Dog is worthless when it comes to bugs, as he squeals like a baby mouse and flees at the sight of one. So, Saturday afternoon we were standing on the stairs, a good length away from this interloper, both of us wondering what to do. I had the phone in hand and was wondering just who was closest for me to call to come shoo the monster out when my neighbor, Ron, pulled in. I darted out the back door and explained the situation. He is not a big fan of the bug himself, but his chivalry is unrivaled. He grabbed a broom and a bucket from the garage and headed to my house. I felt justified when he saw the creature and was visibly astonished at its size. "What do you want me to do with it?" "Get it out!" And with that, he dropped the heavy bucket smack on top of the bug. Little Dog Shrieked and I must have exclaimed somethi...

Maybe it's the ice storms we've been having. Maybe it's the new year. Maybe it's the break between semesters at school. All I know is that I have been doing more this month than I have in a long time. I've been cooking like crazy, catching up on my reading, cleaning out the house and generally thinking a lot. What I've cooked this week: Chocolate chip cookies, homemade broccoli cheddar soup, Italian chicken with wild rice, a creme cheese coffee cake, my incredible Reuben sandwiches, spinach quiche, pumpkin cookies and a huge Mexican feast including fajitas. Books I've read so far this year (with opinions ) : Good Body , by Eve Ensler ( not as good a Vagina Monologues), Horse Play , by someone whose name I can't remember (An amusing quick mindless fiction read.) How it All Vegan and The Garden of Vegan , both by Tanya Barnard & Sarah Kramer (Cool gals who are really really into the vegan way of life. I didn't read every single recipe, b...

I did not know how to cook until I was 28 and pregnant with Little Dog. Prior to that I had no interest in cooking at all. Kitchens were merely places for storing my smokes and caffeine. Restaurants were invented for people like me. I learned to cook one reason: I was pregnant and I was hungry! I ate like an elephant, but thankfully never looked like one. I consistently lost weight and ended up weighing 2 pounds less when I delivered than I had when I conceived. I had tiny little bird legs and a big huge belly full of baby.  See?! During the pregnancy I craved my mom’s old fashioned cooking. She made me meatloaf, roast with potatoes, macaroni and cheese and even Jell-O with Cool Whip mixed in. She would tell me dinner was ready and then warn everyone else to watch out for my flailing limbs as I frantically shoveled huge helpings onto my plate. So, while my mom cooked me dinners, that still left breakfast and lunch unmanned. At the time my entire experience with “cooking” c...

Never send a shop-a- holic to the mall to pick up one single $5 item. It will take hours. They will spend lots of your money. You will be left amusing their baby for hours. At least this is what happened to me last night. Little Dog wanted to go to the game store in the mall. Since I generally eschew the mall in favour of my neighborhood free-standing Gap (which has everything I could possibly need) he asked Bojo to take him. It seemed like a great plan, since she was coming over for pizza anyway. I even agreed to let Furry stay with me while they ran by the mall and then picked up the pizza. I also asked Bojo if she would pop into the Halloween store and pick up a bottle of Zombie Rot for me. To make a long story short, they returned 4 hours later. Four hours during which I fed, bathed, played with, sang to and endlessly rocked Furry. Now, even though Furry is currently the sweetest toddler in the world, it is still exhausting to watch him. I mean, he requires constant supervisio...

1. Finish painting the downstairs hall. Finally. 2. Take the donation clothes to Catholic Charities. 3. Drop off the dry cleaning. 4. Buy new tires for the car and get the oil changed. 5. Find the damned money to buy new tires for the car. 6. Work with Joey on the book proposal. 7. Read 2 issues of Bitch , 3 issues of Bust and the Utne - or at least pick them up off the bedroom floor. 8. Balance the checkbook for real and get rid of that fake negative balance I keep to trick myself into not spending money. 9. Put up the crown moulding in the kitchen 10. Return calls to Beth, Holly, Muller and, of course, Dad 11. Edit the stack of poems on my desk. 12. Replant the the planter on the landing. 13. Figure out how to stop the cats from peeing in the planter on the landing. 14. Take cats for rabies shots 15./16. Get new glasses/Stop holding things at arms length and squinting to read. 17. Buy books for school - both mine and Little Dog's 18. Take the cans for recycling 19. Haircut? 20....

Bookshelves! No, I am not here to talk about my boobs, although there is plenty to talk about there. No, I am here to talk about my big bookshelves, which, unlike my big boobs, I want you to ogle. I want you to ask me about them. I want you to get closer and fondle the spines and even pull out a text that interests you. I would be extremely flattered if you even drooled a little bit. See, books are a pretty integral part of my life and I think they should be a large part of yours also. I am firmly of the camp that believes you can find anything you need to know in a book. Remember that scene in Richard Bach's The Bridge Across Forever when he found out he was a millionaire since the publication of Jonathan Livingston Seagull ? The first thing he does is go to a library and look for a book about how to be rich. Likewise, the minute I become intrigued by a new idea or hear about something that piques my interest I am online looking up relevant texts about it. As such, you can tell ...

Saturday morning I noticed Little Dog's shoes were in the middle of the living room...wet. He claimed no knowledge of how they got wet and immediately accused the cats. Now our cats have done some strange things and, in fact, have peed in some really annoying places. I still could not imagine why one of the cats would have peed on the top of Little Dog's Vans . That was when I noticed it. The small wet spot on the ceiling. I stood on the coffee table to get a closer look and to touch it. Yup, definitely wet. Now if I still owned and lived in the "hundred year old money pit" I would have cried. But, since I now LEASE from Bob, the best (and cutest) landlord in the world, I simply picked up the phone. I can't blame him for being a bit skeptical. I did once call him because I had no hot water and the pipes were making a funny noise. That time, all he had to do was come over, walk into the kitchen, turn on the water and immediately I had silent pipes and scalding wat...

I love bonus days! When a holiday falls on a Monday, therefore you get the weekend plus..."Bonus" day. See, being a single parent, there isn't too much down time. Well, for me, there isn't really ANY down time. Saturdays are for "inside" stuff - house cleaning, laundry, cleaning out the attic type stuffs. Sundays are for "outside" - lawn mowing, garage sweeping, gardening, grocery shopping and errand running. When I get Monday as a bonus it is a day I savour to its fullest. I sleep late, then I get up and marvel at how I don't have anything I have to do. Then I usually watch TV for hours. Regardless, it is wonderful!

When you repeatedly leave recordings on my voice mail in which you bitch about my call returning habits...Well, let's just say, don't hold you breath waiting for my ring. If I wanted to have a conversation every damn time the phone rang then I probably wouldn't have voice mail in the first place. Just to be clear here: When the answering machine became available to the mass public I was the first in line. I used to record very complicated scripts to entertain my callers, and to make up for the fact that I wasn't answering their call. My number used to get passed around so people could call and listen to these mini programs. One outgoing message was played on the radio and widely enjoyed by the listening audience. My machine had a social life of its own! Then, due to the fact that I hoped to have potential employers calling, I went mainstream with my messages. Not good for the HR department of a company I desperately wanted to work for to call and hear my sarcastic voic...