Yellow Dog/Bleeding Heart

I love bonus days! When a holiday falls on a Monday, therefore you get the weekend plus..."Bonus" day. See, being a single parent, there isn't too much down time. Well, for me, there isn't really ANY down time. Saturdays are for "inside" stuff - house cleaning, laundry, cleaning out the attic type stuffs. Sundays are for "outside" - lawn mowing, garage sweeping, gardening, grocery shopping and errand running. When I get Monday as a bonus it is a day I savour to its fullest. I sleep late, then I get up and marvel at how I don't have anything I have to do. Then I usually watch TV for hours. Regardless, it is wonderful!

This morning my father took my sister, myself and Little Dog out for breakfast. As we finished the meal he leaned over to me an whispered, "See that young lady behind you eating alone?" I surrepticiously glanced around to see a young girl, about 20something, quietly eating her breakfast. I looked back at dad and nodded. "I can't imagine why anyone would be eating alone on Christmas morning," he said. "I want you to pick up her check from the table and tell her I'll take care of it...and tell her I said Merry Christmas." I did as he asked and the girl thanked him profusely as he walked by. He just smiled and wished her a Merry Christmas. It was a shining moment in my dad's usually negative outlook. His spontaneously deciding to do this - his even noticing the girl eating alone was a surprise to me. Perhaps the Christmas spirit is not dead after all.

What the hell is wrong with people?! Where did this sense of entitlement come from?! This Christmas season I have heard people bitch about their Christmas gifts; bitch because they had to buy Christmas gifts, and bitch because they didn't get a particular Christmas gift. Co-workers complained loudly that the food at our firm Christmas party - catered by one of the finest restaurants in this city - was "weird" or, more bluntly, "sucked." At the Lavish children's Christmas party the firm hosts every year I heard kids crying because they didn't get what another kid got. One child even tossed aside his video saying, "I didn't want that stupid thing." Man, if Little Dog ever behaved that way he'd quickly find himself present-less. In department stores people shoved and grabbed and let doors bang shut into the faces of people behind them. In parking lots horns blared as people waited for a spot. I have had the good fortune this year to be abl...

When you repeatedly leave recordings on my voice mail in which you bitch about my call returning habits...Well, let's just say, don't hold you breath waiting for my ring. If I wanted to have a conversation every damn time the phone rang then I probably wouldn't have voice mail in the first place. Just to be clear here: When the answering machine became available to the mass public I was the first in line. I used to record very complicated scripts to entertain my callers, and to make up for the fact that I wasn't answering their call. My number used to get passed around so people could call and listen to these mini programs. One outgoing message was played on the radio and widely enjoyed by the listening audience. My machine had a social life of its own! Then, due to the fact that I hoped to have potential employers calling, I went mainstream with my messages. Not good for the HR department of a company I desperately wanted to work for to call and hear my sarcastic voic...

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Coming Soon!

There is a new commercial airing which shows Santa giving Mrs. Claus a gift of jewelry. She opens the box and purrs, "Oh Nick, thank you!." Little dog watched this and asked, "Who's Nick?" "Santa Claus, " I replied, "Saint Nicholas." "But Santa's name isn't Nick. It's Kris. You know, Kris Kringle." Hmmmmmm.........

Smoking sucks. Period. I am the most anti-smoking smoker in the world. Yes, I smoke. I also HATE the smell of smoke. I hate it on my clothes, my hair and in my car. I hate that waft of smell that comes when a coworker, fresh from a smoke break, walks by. Like I said, I smoke. But I refuse to smoke in my house and am constantly washing the windows in my car because driving is my brick wall when it comes to quitting. It is an ingrained habit to smoke when I drive. Windows down, smoking arm out. I also refuse to use the ashtray in my car and I am not alone. I have known many smokers in my time and hardly any will use the ashtray. It's like some sort of weird denial. Personally, I usually use a soda can (Pepsi, but that's another addiction altogether.) So, in light of recent health issues, combined with my distaste of smoking I have been trying to quit. Seriously. However I seem to be stuck at 7 cigs a day. For a couple of weeks now. I can go all day without a smoke, but on the dri...

One of my favourite restaurants is a little family owned Lebanese steak house that was opened here over 50 years ago. Best. Steaks. Ever. But before we talk about the food, let me tell you about the character of the place. First, it is located on a busy street amidst modern apartment and business construction in what used to be a house. Yes, a house. A very small and simple house in fact. FYI for first timers: You go in through the back door. Okay, so we have the house right? Tables are extremely close together, which is not odd for anyone who has ever lived or eaten in a large metropolitan city. But this is NOT a large or metropolitan city at all, which makes the success of this restaurant even more unique. Here people are used to S P A C E. I mean, c'mon, it's the heartland. The house I grew up in had closets bigger than some NY apartments I've stayed in. The tables are covered with white linen clothes and each place setting contains more pieces than I can count. Every t...

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Okay, so the other day I developed a sharp pain in my shoulder and arm. I diagnosed myself as having either a pinched nerve or a pulled muscle. Regardless, I figured a couple of muscle relaxers and some rest was just what I needed. I called my doc and was told she was still on medical leave. I described my problem and asked, "Who is she referring to?" "Well, gosh, I don't really know who might be able to get you in," I was told. "You could go to the emergency room." "I have a pinched nerve, I am not dying. I don't think it's an emergency per se, just something I need to get taken care of so I can work. I've taken Advil and used ice packs, but I really think maybe I need a muscle relaxer," I explained. "Well, all I can tell you is to go to ER if you need to be seen." I angrily hung up and tried to resume work at my desk. My shoulder kept throbbing. Finally I decided my only choice was to join the doctorless mass...

A week or so ago I called my Doctor's office for an appointment because I have been feeling run down and crappy. The receptionist informed me that my doc is out on medical leave because she had " emergency " back surgery. AGAIN. I don't know what my doc has done to her back, but this is the third or fourth time she has had "emergency" back surgery. Now I don't know what "emergency" means to the rest of the world, but to me using the word implies "urgent" and "necessary." Like, if my doc was walking down the street, or cooking dinner, or shopping or something and then BOOM she fell over in excruciating pain for which she was rushed to the hospital and surrounded by surgeons who did "Emergency" surgery. No, each time she has had the surgery it has been "elective" and because of some ongoing disc problem. She schedules the surgery in advance, but then if you happen to be the unlucky patient who call...

So, Saturday night my nephew, "Furry", came over to hang out with Little Dog and me. Well, "hang out" as much as an 8 month old can. Much preparation went into planning for this little get together. I even bought baby friendly junk food (something Gerber makes called Strawberry Banana puffs.) Everything was fine for the playing portion and eating portion of our evening. In fact, Furry brought some electronic toys that were kind of cool. Baby toys do much more now than they did when Little Dog was a pup! The toys he had were brightly coloured, but just kind of laid there waiting to be picked up or stacked or shoved into his mouth. Furry's toys, however, have blinking lights and make noises when you touch them. Some of them even come with claims that they will help him achieve Einstein-like genius! One toy, in particular, was a stuffed ball with globe illustrations. When you touch a particular country it plays a little 4 line song about that country. Take En...

Little Dog Shoes: Chuck's. Baby Toys: Little Tikes. I even wrote them a fan letter when Little Dog was an infant. Cars: I'm Nissan/Honda loyal. Airline: American. Period. Electronics: JVC. My first VCR lasted over 10 years and never needed a repair. Soap: Dial. White. Tools: Craftsman. Even my garden hose. Department Store: Target. I absolutely Luuuuuuurve Target. Read the book, On Target for the whole story. Newspaper: The New York Times. I've never met a local paper I liked.

So I've been shopping for a gift for my infant nephew and I realised something: I am completely a "Brand Loyal" type person. I probably get this from all those years as I child that I grocery shopped with my mom. Need tomato sauce? Hunts is the only one that will do. Canned vegetables? That would be Del Monte. Crackers or cookies? Those Keebler elves get the job done! And on and on and on. But the loyalty extends to the stores themselves as well. There wasn't anything we could need, aside from groceries, that my mom couldn't buy at Sears. Now, granted this was back in Brady Bunch days when Sears was THE department store. Oh how I hated bra shopping at Sears. I remember going home and ripping of all the bows and daisies the makers felt compelled to adorn young teen bras with. (The only thing that ooged me out more were the old lady bras with their cotton cone shaped cup, mile wide straps and six rows of hooks.) The one exception to the Sears rule was the once a...

I got a ticket today. I got a ticket for turning left ( illegally ) at the corner light a block away from my office building. I turn left there every morning and have for the last 3 years. Half of my coworkers do the same thing. Five of them have received tickets this week. Guess they're cracking down on this horrible left turn behaviour. $120. Damn I hope those books come tomorrow .

It's 2005 and I have been able to resist the lure of eBay. I haven't, however, been able to resist ordering regularly from Amazon. I have ordered so much that I now (apparently) have the ability to do something called "one click ordering." I really don't like one click ordering. See, I have a near impossible time committing to something. I can't tell you how many times I've filled my online shopping cart with items, gone to checkout and then dumped them all one by one because I couldn't commit. It's not embarrassing at all. No one even knows. Last night that all changed. I filled my cart with about 7 different items, all of which I intended to buy. I even had a gift certificate and a new credit card. Woo Hoo! So, I was doing a review of what I was buying - hopping back and forth between websites to check one more time and see if anyone else had the items cheaper. I had emptied my cart of the other 9 books I wanted, but didn't need and...

Well, it finally happened. The Little Dog stood up for himself. This whole experience has taught me that, in addition to a bleeding heart and a strong empathy for where the other person is coming from, you also have to have an even stronger ability to draw your own boundaries. You have to be able to stand up for yourself before you can stand up for anyone else. LD is learning that he has every right to have reasonable expectations of those people closest to him. The first expectation is of mutual respect, which had become non-existent in the relationship at issue. It seems I have spent the first part of his life teaching him to have empathy, compassion and respect for others. He has learned well, and is now one of the kindest young men I know. Now, in his teen years, he is faced with the adult realization that others don't always have these qualities. I'm trying my best to help him navigate these new concepts and to learn appropriate responses. I definitely want him to...

Recently an acquaintance of mine, who is in the entertainment industry, made a very public announcement about a very personal situation. Immediately the responses started pouring in and ranged from "You Da Man!" to "You're an asshole!" Within a short time the responses had little to do with this man or his situation and instead the responders had turned on each other. "Who are you to judge," they shouted at his detractors. "You're just as stupid and immoral as he is," they shouted at his supporters. And, of course, there was the inevitable cry of, "Until you have walked in his shoes you can't judge!" Well, newsflash people, yes, we can judge without putting on his size fourteens. We can, and do, judge people every day. We judge people based on their appearance, their accent, and what we know of their situations. We judge businesses based on their reputations, religions based on the actions of their followers, celebrities b...

So last night I was so wiped out I went to bed at 7:30. Then I woke up at 9:30 and glanced at the clock. Now I don't know how you wake up, but I wake up to a new world every day. It takes me 15 minutes after opening my eyes to just figure out who I am and how I got to be waking up in this place. I set my clock ahead by at least an hour, but I never know exactly how ahead b/c that is a little trick I play on myself. Yeah, I fuck with my own self when I am at my most vulnerable. The confusion of not knowing how ahead the clock is set is just enough to get my brain engaged, and thus wake me up completely. But I digress. So I woke up at 9:30 (bedroom clock time) and in my half-asleep state I did the math. Here's what happened in my mind: "9:30? Wha...? HOLY SHIT! That means it's something like 8:30 ! I needed to get up at 6:00 ! Damn! It's gonna take me AT LEAST 30 minutes to get ready! Why didn't the alarm go off?! DAMN ! Now I am gonna be fired ! Why...

All is again right with the world. After two agonizing nights and a couple of frustrating phone calls with various companies' tech support I have restored AND UPGRADED my iTunes. How I did it is complicated and strange - much like how MacGyver could take three common household items and build a working bomb and escape. Yeah, so I just used a bunch of weird add ons, deletes and updates. It was scary for a while, but then I rebooted and the system worked and then…I opened iTunes. At that point Angels descended from the heavens and small forest animals gathered around me to dance merrily. Birds flew down from the sky and placed a cloak made of wild flowers over my shoulders and a crown of CDs on my head. I tear rolled down my cheek when I saw my iTunes library load onto the screen. Thank you all for your support through this trauma. Sincerely, Yellow Dog