Yellow Dog/Bleeding Heart

      This really doesn't seem like that long ago.  Last week maybe?  and now ... Congratulations my beautiful boy!                                                                        Love,                                                                                           Mom

Some say love requires commitment.  I think it is quite the opposite. Love is a fluid choice; one you make an infinite number of times – though if you are truly blessed it is always the same person. I have loved someone enough to allow them to walk away even though I possessed the power to say “don’t” … or “ stay ” … or other sincere words like and “ love ” and “ need ” … how very badly I needed him to make me feel safe; to continue to be the only person I ever trusted to protect me.   But in that moment love meant goodbye .   Ironically, I have chosen to love the same way many times over.   And that is ok because love is not about what you need or they need; or what is right or wrong. It is loving someone so much that in the end, just having been loved is enough. To have shared the moments; to have felt their heartbeat at your cheek at the exact moment in your life when you needed to feel life; to share the same breath with them when ...

“ When we talk we give ourselves away. We reveal our true character in a picture which is more true and realistic than anything an artist can do for us. “   Dr Ralph C. Smedley

Here's another teaser (designed mostly to hold me accountable for posting new content)! The very first job I applied for; the one that was a total fluke; the one where the Director said I pretty much had her at, "I understand you're looking for a ..."; the one where the job was mine just as soon as the Director could tame the politics and take a breath ... remember?  Well, yesterday I learned that she has been arrested and charged with some mega heavy duty felonies committed via her position. Damn. Ya suck up to someone for months and they go and ruin it by making a bomb threat. Dontcha hate it when that happens? Stay tuned for the full story and even more stories of ridiculous situations that could only happen to me.

Stay tuned for an epic account of my battle with the cannoli. It was gruesome - every dish was dirtied; chocolate chips were charred; Cinnamon was shed and the ricotta totally turned traitor. Seriously. I fought the cannoli and the cannoli won. Stay tuned!

I've been playing around with layout, but my html skills are rusty. Please be patient - and let me know of any problems, preferences, or wonky links in the comments.

In my last post I mentioned that I related to the character of Sophie on HBO's In Treatment so much that her last few sessions had me in tears. It was like watching my own teenaged self going through therapy - which I probably should have. Abandoned by dad, depressed mom, feeling responsible for everything , acting defiant ... I swear the writers of this show found my diary from when I was 16. I wasn't a gymnast, but I did have red hair and I was in a motorcycle accident and I did OD. Hell, I even once bought a brass sailboat for Rick. I didn't have a therapist, but I did find a priest who met with me in his office once a week one summer. *sigh* " What did I do ?" I still ask myself that question to this day. Watch this video and then comment to let me know if Sophie made you cry too. Also, in case you've ever wondered what I was like at 16, well, here ya go!