Yellow Dog/Bleeding Heart

I do not know what is up with me lately. I have been riding the emotional roller coaster like a fat bearded guy on a Harley. Or something. Maybe I am just sick of people. Like the guy who bought his 16 year old daughter a Hummer because he wanted her to be safe when she drives. What the fuck?! That is like buying her a shotgun so she will be "safe" about sex. If the little brat cannot be trusted in a car then DO NOT LET HER DRIVE. For gawd's sake do not put her on the road in what amounts to a weapon so she can hone her driving skills around nice innocent people in sensible cars. And while I am on the subject: If you are bitching about high gas prices and you drive an SUV... SHUT THE FUCK UP! You chose to drive that gas guzzling unnecessary monstrosity and I have no sympathy Also, lose the attitudes people. In the grand scheme of things we have such a short time here on earth why waste it in an endless pursuit of newer/bigger/better/more? I like my life, for the most p...

I like Elvis as much as the next guy - maybe even more. I think he was handsome, had a beautiful voice and some rockin ' moves. I agree that he was a legend. People, let me tell you, there are some die hard Elvis fans out there . Enough of them to create a multi billion dollar industry of kitsch - the Mecca of which lies at 3765 Elvis Presley Boulevard in Memphis, Tennessee. It all begins at the ticket office, which is located in a huge plaza across from Graceland Mansion, which is just down the street from The Heartbreak Hotel , which is just around the corner from the Graceland RV Park , which is behind the Graceland Outle t Store , which is down the street from the Lisa Marie... You get the picture. At first glance, after hopping off the Sun Studios shuttle, the line didn't seem that long. And it wasn't, except for the fact that the line we were looking at was the line to get into the building to get to the line for the ticket counter. After 30 minutes in line t...

There had always been a part of me that felt like something was missing. I mean, I was 42 years old and I had NEVER been to Graceland . That is practically un -American! So, with that in mind, Furry's mom, Bojo , and I decided to take the kids to Memphis. ROADTRIIIIIP !!!!! 2 hip mammas trekkin ' to the Rockabilly holy land with their boys... SQUEEE ! My adrenaline was flowing just thinking about it. We would spend the entire fourth of July weekend (4 days) in the city that birthed rock-n-roll. I planned the itinerary and Bojo was in charge of the hotel and car. On the morning we were to leave she pulled up in a rented minivan. Uh... If you know me at all you know I am not a minivan kind of gal. I knew a convertible was out of the question and I had immediately nixed the idea of an SUV ( Grrrr ....) I even took her seriously when she suggested an RV (Graceland RV park? Helloooo !) But no, she got a minivan. I was going to make my rock-n-roll pilgrimage in a minivan?! Cou...

Sunday I worked all day in the yard and was hosing everything down when a beautiful banded pigeon waddled up to assess my work. He seemed quite friendly and not at all afraid. Eventually I had him eating birdseed from my hand and posing while I did an impromptu pigeon photo shoot. The sun went down and I scattered some birdseed, soaked everything with water and went to bed. The next morning as I pulled out of the garage I noticed the pigeon strutting around the garden. Some of the mulch was scattered, indicating he had bedded down there the night before. He was still there when I got home from work. At this point I was concerned about this little pigeon I had come to think of as Bucky. The bands indicated he belonged to someone who surely must be missing him. So, the next day at work I contacted a friend who works for a local aviation research facility. From her I was referred to a Falconer at the center who referred me to the State Wildlife Association who referred me to the area Game...

I can not stand it anymore. I simply MUST rant about MySpace . If you are a fan of that site you might want to just skip this. I am freaking sick of MySpace . All the young Runners and Clerks at the firm have a MySpace account . Many of Little Dog's friends have one. Lots of otherwise sane and mature people have one. "It's a great networking tool!" (I can assure you that no corporation is going to recruit a major executive based on his or her MySpace profile.) "It's a great way to meet people!" (So is showering and actually going out into the world.) "I have a lot of 'friends' on MySpace !" (No, you do not. Friends are made through shared experiences, not via glitter messages.) People, let me tell you. They LIE on MySpace . Never has it been so easy to lie to so many people. Photoshop allows you to be thinner or blonder or to have a bigger chest. The keyboard allows one to endow themselves with any virtue; any job title; any geograp...

Why on earth have we let children become fashion accessories?! Angelina’s c-section scar is probably not even all scabbed over and already she is talking about how “they” are trying to decide what race and nationality “their” next child will be. (By “they” I guess she means Brad Pitt and the other kids, though I disagree that minors should have a full vote in their parents’ decision to reproduce.) Give me a freaking break. Oh sure, she is Miss United Nations now and all about the children. Whatever. Newsflash Angelina: Babies are neither puppets, nor dolls, and they most certainly shouldn’t be shopped for. I do not care how loving you are or how much money you have or how politically correct you profess to be. You still should NOT be allowed to purchase children. This is exactly what she is doing. Show me any average American single woman who would be approved to adopt an infant in 2001; then again in 2005; then, after giving birth in 2006, be approved yet again for an international a...