Yellow Dog/Bleeding Heart

The words "Pizza Robot" pretty much describe my idea of the perfect man. Photo Source: http://www.delish.com/food-fun/unusual-vending-machine-foods?gt1=47001 Check out these other vending machines from a more perfect world: http://www.delish.com/food-fun/unusual-vending-machine-foods?gt1=47001

You know those days when you wake up and it's pouring down rain and you'd rather stay in bed than go to work? Those days when you're at work and it's raining out side and you meet someone on the elevator and they say, "This is a perfect napping weather" and you agree and wish you were home under the covers instead of on that stupid elevator?  Well, today was one of those days and when the alarm went off this morning I turned it off. When you've been laid off you learn to appreciate even the tiniest of blessings.

Photo Source: http://anonymityno-identity.deviantart.com/ Dear Anonymous Hiring Manager, I am writing in response to your job posting in the August 8th edition of [ my local paper ]. I am actually perfect for the position you are trying to fill. Not only do I meet all of your basic qualifications (proficient in MS applications, experienced, excellent oral and written skills etc.) which, really? Shouldn't all of that go without saying in this day and age? I mean who isn't proficient in MS apps? After all, it is 2010 and unless you still use a corded phone and correspond only by snail mail you pretty much have all that down. I'm pretty sure even kindergartners are capable of doing Power Point presentations these days. However, in addition to all the basics, you "preferred" someone with experience in [ obscure legal billing program ] which is what I had been working in for the past 10 years until the shareholders of the law firm I was with lost a big cas...

1. He gets just how cool robots really are 2. He can be Ward Cleaver when he has to 3. He answered some of the "hard" questions during LD's preteen years 4. He still rocks the bass 5. He still remembers the sharkskin suit we bought at a thrift store in 1983 6. He stood in the front yard in the rain with me the night my cat got out and let to me cry it all out - even though he doesn't even really like cats 7. Even though the kids went through a phase of standing outside the bathroom door to harass him every time he went to do his business he never killed either one of them 8. He really does love being a dad 9. The kids and I can still easily embarrass him 10. Even though the bitch neighbor complained every single day he refused to quit parking in front of her house solely because that's where the shade was. And when she cut her tree down just to spite him he didn't flaunt his victory. 11. He always has exactly what is needed no matter how obscure...

A friend of mine sent me this video and I had a lot of fun watching it and laughing at how many times I thought to myself, "I have one of those too!"   I so want to be in that room and play with those toys! Watching this video also made me really nostalgic for LD's childhood. My baby boy is pretty much all grown up now and will be going away to college in less than a year. It really really doesn't seem that long ago that our house was cluttered with Lego creations and action figures, and the back yard looked like a Little Tykes delivery truck had exploded over it. Of course there are still robots, dinosaurs, planetarium lights, wind up toys and crazy kitschy things in my house today. That's just a part of who I am. But when LD was a little boy I wanted his room to be his own magical place - with clouds in the sky, airplanes flying overhead, faux fireplaces and pretend picture frames, chalkboard walls to draw on, and assorted other whimsical t...

It's LYLE THE PARTY GOAT!!! Also the only goat to ever grace the hallowed halls of the University.  The Pony Pasture! It was worth falling asleep drunk in Muller's bed in the barn-house just to be able to wake up and see this beautiful sight in the morning. That's Polly - the coolest Cobb in the pasture - and her baby, Veronica with Amy (?) and Tom - the Bart Simpson of horses who used to chase me and try to bite my ass! Rev - the pony that tried to kill me! Yes he did ! Shut up Muller! I still keep his shoe over my front door to remind me of my narrow escape from death. Am I correct that this is Rev too? I think it is, but I don't remember. The only time Muller and I have EVER exchanged harsh words was when trying to load a pony in the trailer and Muller got mad when I let go in order to keep from amputating my right arm. I don't remember which horse, but I know it was a looooong and silent ride home in the truck that day. It was also the LAST h...

Photo Source: http://www.gardendigest.com/concrete/cvp244.htm Random Crap I've Learned While Job Hunting: 1. There are some surprisingly complicated jobs out there that only pay crap and some ridiculously easy ones that pay a huge salary. You will be considered "overqualified" for the latter.  2.  The guy who euthanizes the animals at the city shelter only makes $32k a year and is not a veterinarian. 3. It apparently acceptable to expect an Office Manager for a non-profit to, not only have a Master's, but also to work for only $28k a year. 4. It is extremely difficult, though not impossible, to get hired as a public school teacher unless you majored in education. If you majored in an obscure humanities related field it ain't gonna happen at all. Though you can teach at a Junior College with only a BA as long as you're willing to work for peanuts, a PhD in Linguistics does not qualify you to teach English to first graders. 5. The person who...

Part my job used to involve talking with random people who would call the firm because they wanted to to sue someone, so I’m fully aware that we live in a litigious society. It still came as a surprise the number of attorney friends who suggested I file a wrongful termination suit. It seems that laying off someone over forty, while retaining younger employees with less seniority is frowned upon by the EEOC. The fact that everyone else in my office who was laid off was also over forty left the firm vulnerable to a discrimination claim. And then there’s the fact that the day before lay offs they hired three new kids – one just out of high school. These were “favour” jobs, with no real duties, given to the sons and daughters of Shareholders or important Clients. It’s always been a tradition to hire kids like this, but you’d think that when you're also laying off people with families to support that tradition might need to end. But you know what? It’s not worth it. Lawsuits ...

Photo Source: http://withgoodreasonradio.org/2009/04/trickster-heroines-2/ You begin to try and embrace the lay off as an opportunity, but even though you know you will eventually find a job you love, and that you will likely make much more money; you still have to face down the pile off bills that arrive daily. Unless, like me, you find it all too much and shove all of your unopened mail and scattered paperwork into a box which you then shove into the corner by your desk. When your cell phone beeps with new messages you don’t want to face you toss that into the box too. Eventually you dump the contents of your purse; the grocery receipts, unread newspapers, the note your neighbor left on your door, appointment reminder cards, the shopping list, and your planner into the box too. The box becomes your enemy. You discover that Law & Order is on some channel at almost any time of day and there are actually still episodes you’ve never seen. You start watching The View...