Yellow Dog/Bleeding Heart

Forget the Super Bowl. In our house it's the State of the Union that has us jumping up and down screaming at the TV . Especially since we aren't big fans of the current team. I've heard that the dubya is going to formally introduce us to his new mistress: Consumer Driven Health Care Plans. I'm sure he'll have some kind words for his old lover, The Iraq War. What a stupid fuck. I get mad just anticipating the drivel that will come out of his mouth. Little Dog, start icing down the beer!!!!

Saturday morning I noticed Little Dog's shoes were in the middle of the living room...wet. He claimed no knowledge of how they got wet and immediately accused the cats. Now our cats have done some strange things and, in fact, have peed in some really annoying places. I still could not imagine why one of the cats would have peed on the top of Little Dog's Vans . That was when I noticed it. The small wet spot on the ceiling. I stood on the coffee table to get a closer look and to touch it. Yup, definitely wet. Now if I still owned and lived in the "hundred year old money pit" I would have cried. But, since I now LEASE from Bob, the best (and cutest) landlord in the world, I simply picked up the phone. I can't blame him for being a bit skeptical. I did once call him because I had no hot water and the pipes were making a funny noise. That time, all he had to do was come over, walk into the kitchen, turn on the water and immediately I had silent pipes and scalding wat...

Okay, so they told me to call for my test results on Tuesday. Today is Tuesday. I waited until 10:30 to call. Faye, the nurse, apologized, but said they did not have the results yet and to call back after noon. I called back at 1:30. Faye apologized again because they did not have the results yet. She suggested I call back after 3:00 I called back at 3:30. Faye apologized for the third time. She did say that Dr. Smith had already left a message for me … AT HOME. “But I am not at home! I am at work!” “I am so sorry. I wish I could tell you something, but only the doctor is allowed to discuss results. I’m sure she’ll call you back.” ARGH ! So it’s about an hour and a half before I can head home. By this time all kinds of crazy thoughts are going through my head because I tend to be a worrier. When I check the message at home I hear, “Hello, this is Dr. Smith. I am calling to discuss your test results. You can reach me at my office.” AAAAAARGH !!!! I call the office back and Faye, who rec...

So I had my first mammogram and it wasn't nearly the painful experience I had anticipated. While not exactly comfortable, it was pretty straightforward: left one on the tray, turn; right one on the tray and turn. I left with my dignity intact. Two days later my Dr.'s office called. It seems there was a lump they weren't sure about, so they wanted me to go back for another mammogram and more x-rays. A quick poll of co-workers and friends my age indicated that this is pretty common. Nothing to panic about here. The following Monday I went in to do the drill again. I sat in my well worn hospital gown, reading Reader's digest, waiting for the okay to dress and go. The Tech came back in and informed me that I needed to be taken to ultrasound. Okay, so they want to make sure this lump is...what? Just a "lump?" After about a 30 minute session with the ultrasound tech I was finished. I went back to work and before I could even get involved in a project my doc, hersel...

I have never been a " girly girl" by any stretch of the imagination. A bar of Dial soap, some cheap shampoo and conditioner are pretty much all that's in my beauty arsenal. So, it is quite surprising news that I am now addicted to Bath & Body Works. Or, more specifically, the line of Tutti Dulce products that they sell. It all started innocently enough with a trip to the mall to burn the last $20 of the Christmas gift certificates. I passed Bath & Body Works and remembered having received a pretty cool candle from there once. That was my plan. A single pear scented candle. Once inside, however, my senses were assaulted by colours and scents and, most importantly, very large SALE signs. Suddenly I had become my mother and felt compelled to sniff every bar of soap; to smell every flavour of lotion; to inhale every aromatherapy offering and to check every deep discount! But I lingered at one particular counter for a very long time. They had lotion that smelled lik...

Who the hell did Penelope Cruz piss off to get that crappy picture on the cover of Marie Claire?! Is there ANYONE who believes the Holmes/Cruise pairing is for real? I mean, look at any freaking picture of them. There is not a single genuine emotion there. Is anyone that stupid?! I think I want a Honda Element. Why does a single man with no children need an SUV with a DVD player in it? Speaking of cars, did I ever mention that I CANNOT STAND HUMMERS or the people who drive them? Seriously. I see one next to me at a stop light and I truly want to make obscene gestures to the owner. I see one on a parking lot and I want to throw large rocks through the windshield. A guy I worked with was actually looking into buying one of the "smaller" ones. I told him that we could no longer be friends if he drove such a stupid and unnecessary car. I am serious about this! I probably need to chill a lot of the time.