Yellow Dog/Bleeding Heart

Okay, so the other day I developed a sharp pain in my shoulder and arm. I diagnosed myself as having either a pinched nerve or a pulled muscle. Regardless, I figured a couple of muscle relaxers and some rest was just what I needed. I called my doc and was told she was still on medical leave. I described my problem and asked, "Who is she referring to?" "Well, gosh, I don't really know who might be able to get you in," I was told. "You could go to the emergency room." "I have a pinched nerve, I am not dying. I don't think it's an emergency per se, just something I need to get taken care of so I can work. I've taken Advil and used ice packs, but I really think maybe I need a muscle relaxer," I explained. "Well, all I can tell you is to go to ER if you need to be seen." I angrily hung up and tried to resume work at my desk. My shoulder kept throbbing. Finally I decided my only choice was to join the doctorless mass...

A week or so ago I called my Doctor's office for an appointment because I have been feeling run down and crappy. The receptionist informed me that my doc is out on medical leave because she had " emergency " back surgery. AGAIN. I don't know what my doc has done to her back, but this is the third or fourth time she has had "emergency" back surgery. Now I don't know what "emergency" means to the rest of the world, but to me using the word implies "urgent" and "necessary." Like, if my doc was walking down the street, or cooking dinner, or shopping or something and then BOOM she fell over in excruciating pain for which she was rushed to the hospital and surrounded by surgeons who did "Emergency" surgery. No, each time she has had the surgery it has been "elective" and because of some ongoing disc problem. She schedules the surgery in advance, but then if you happen to be the unlucky patient who call...

So, Saturday night my nephew, "Furry", came over to hang out with Little Dog and me. Well, "hang out" as much as an 8 month old can. Much preparation went into planning for this little get together. I even bought baby friendly junk food (something Gerber makes called Strawberry Banana puffs.) Everything was fine for the playing portion and eating portion of our evening. In fact, Furry brought some electronic toys that were kind of cool. Baby toys do much more now than they did when Little Dog was a pup! The toys he had were brightly coloured, but just kind of laid there waiting to be picked up or stacked or shoved into his mouth. Furry's toys, however, have blinking lights and make noises when you touch them. Some of them even come with claims that they will help him achieve Einstein-like genius! One toy, in particular, was a stuffed ball with globe illustrations. When you touch a particular country it plays a little 4 line song about that country. Take En...

Little Dog Shoes: Chuck's. Baby Toys: Little Tikes. I even wrote them a fan letter when Little Dog was an infant. Cars: I'm Nissan/Honda loyal. Airline: American. Period. Electronics: JVC. My first VCR lasted over 10 years and never needed a repair. Soap: Dial. White. Tools: Craftsman. Even my garden hose. Department Store: Target. I absolutely Luuuuuuurve Target. Read the book, On Target for the whole story. Newspaper: The New York Times. I've never met a local paper I liked.

So I've been shopping for a gift for my infant nephew and I realised something: I am completely a "Brand Loyal" type person. I probably get this from all those years as I child that I grocery shopped with my mom. Need tomato sauce? Hunts is the only one that will do. Canned vegetables? That would be Del Monte. Crackers or cookies? Those Keebler elves get the job done! And on and on and on. But the loyalty extends to the stores themselves as well. There wasn't anything we could need, aside from groceries, that my mom couldn't buy at Sears. Now, granted this was back in Brady Bunch days when Sears was THE department store. Oh how I hated bra shopping at Sears. I remember going home and ripping of all the bows and daisies the makers felt compelled to adorn young teen bras with. (The only thing that ooged me out more were the old lady bras with their cotton cone shaped cup, mile wide straps and six rows of hooks.) The one exception to the Sears rule was the once a...

I got a ticket today. I got a ticket for turning left ( illegally ) at the corner light a block away from my office building. I turn left there every morning and have for the last 3 years. Half of my coworkers do the same thing. Five of them have received tickets this week. Guess they're cracking down on this horrible left turn behaviour. $120. Damn I hope those books come tomorrow .

It's 2005 and I have been able to resist the lure of eBay. I haven't, however, been able to resist ordering regularly from Amazon. I have ordered so much that I now (apparently) have the ability to do something called "one click ordering." I really don't like one click ordering. See, I have a near impossible time committing to something. I can't tell you how many times I've filled my online shopping cart with items, gone to checkout and then dumped them all one by one because I couldn't commit. It's not embarrassing at all. No one even knows. Last night that all changed. I filled my cart with about 7 different items, all of which I intended to buy. I even had a gift certificate and a new credit card. Woo Hoo! So, I was doing a review of what I was buying - hopping back and forth between websites to check one more time and see if anyone else had the items cheaper. I had emptied my cart of the other 9 books I wanted, but didn't need and...

Well, it finally happened. The Little Dog stood up for himself. This whole experience has taught me that, in addition to a bleeding heart and a strong empathy for where the other person is coming from, you also have to have an even stronger ability to draw your own boundaries. You have to be able to stand up for yourself before you can stand up for anyone else. LD is learning that he has every right to have reasonable expectations of those people closest to him. The first expectation is of mutual respect, which had become non-existent in the relationship at issue. It seems I have spent the first part of his life teaching him to have empathy, compassion and respect for others. He has learned well, and is now one of the kindest young men I know. Now, in his teen years, he is faced with the adult realization that others don't always have these qualities. I'm trying my best to help him navigate these new concepts and to learn appropriate responses. I definitely want him to...

Recently an acquaintance of mine, who is in the entertainment industry, made a very public announcement about a very personal situation. Immediately the responses started pouring in and ranged from "You Da Man!" to "You're an asshole!" Within a short time the responses had little to do with this man or his situation and instead the responders had turned on each other. "Who are you to judge," they shouted at his detractors. "You're just as stupid and immoral as he is," they shouted at his supporters. And, of course, there was the inevitable cry of, "Until you have walked in his shoes you can't judge!" Well, newsflash people, yes, we can judge without putting on his size fourteens. We can, and do, judge people every day. We judge people based on their appearance, their accent, and what we know of their situations. We judge businesses based on their reputations, religions based on the actions of their followers, celebrities b...

So last night I was so wiped out I went to bed at 7:30. Then I woke up at 9:30 and glanced at the clock. Now I don't know how you wake up, but I wake up to a new world every day. It takes me 15 minutes after opening my eyes to just figure out who I am and how I got to be waking up in this place. I set my clock ahead by at least an hour, but I never know exactly how ahead b/c that is a little trick I play on myself. Yeah, I fuck with my own self when I am at my most vulnerable. The confusion of not knowing how ahead the clock is set is just enough to get my brain engaged, and thus wake me up completely. But I digress. So I woke up at 9:30 (bedroom clock time) and in my half-asleep state I did the math. Here's what happened in my mind: "9:30? Wha...? HOLY SHIT! That means it's something like 8:30 ! I needed to get up at 6:00 ! Damn! It's gonna take me AT LEAST 30 minutes to get ready! Why didn't the alarm go off?! DAMN ! Now I am gonna be fired ! Why...

All is again right with the world. After two agonizing nights and a couple of frustrating phone calls with various companies' tech support I have restored AND UPGRADED my iTunes. How I did it is complicated and strange - much like how MacGyver could take three common household items and build a working bomb and escape. Yeah, so I just used a bunch of weird add ons, deletes and updates. It was scary for a while, but then I rebooted and the system worked and then…I opened iTunes. At that point Angels descended from the heavens and small forest animals gathered around me to dance merrily. Birds flew down from the sky and placed a cloak made of wild flowers over my shoulders and a crown of CDs on my head. I tear rolled down my cheek when I saw my iTunes library load onto the screen. Thank you all for your support through this trauma. Sincerely, Yellow Dog